America's Dumbest? Criminals

I did not get this on tape (what was I thinking not bringing a video camera to work with me to UPS). But if I had, this would definitely make it to the America’s Dumbest Criminal show.

While I was at work on Friday, a torn package came thru the belt. On the package, in huge black letters was “FAKE ROLEX.” When we flipped the box over, “golden” watches with diamonds and sapphire and emeralds all came pouring out, OH MY. I informed my supervisor who decided to call the F.B.I. Apparently, it’s common practice for us to have their number handy, incase of Anthrax, or a bomb, or a blow-up doll accidents (You will be shocked at the number of pornographic crap that runs through our belts, but that’s another story for another time).

Two M.I.B.s came in black sedan an hour later and started questioning us. Took a couple of pictures, confiscated the box and left.

I forgot exactly what one of the dude said when he was “interviewing” (read interrogating) me. But it was somewhere along the line of did you take one. I replied no, thinking to myself, as if I would risk my job, for a fake Rolex…

They were fake Rolexes… Right…?

Now that I think about it… it could have been the cleverest protection against theft… ever…