Responsiblities
No matter how you look at it… growing up really just boil down to ONE thing.
Responsibility.
When you were younger… you want to be older to go out with your friends, without chaperons.
But you were responsible for your actions… if you missed a curfew…
Then you wish that you were 18… you can then legally buy cigarettes and legally have sex (I know, who follow these two “rules” anymore…)
But you are responsible for your actions…
21… alcohol… same responsibility thing…
I found that since I am a bit older, I am become more responsible.
I am become more financially responsible: I no longer spurge on things I don’t really need. After all, the mortgage comes first. (side story: I used to *frequently* take a $20 dollar cab ride, to my $4.25 an hour job at Micky D’s. After tax and the transportation deduction… I took home like two dollars and fifty cents for the day, eight hours of work...)
I am more relational responsible: I know I have a wife, along with a dog and two cats. There are chores I need to do (god knows I don’t as much as I should, but I do what is absolutely necessary, like cleaning the kitten litter, walking the dog and throwing away the moldy trash in the kitchen). It’s ok… that’s the price I pay for being a grown up.
Why am I rambling about this? Cause I have an aunt (in-law? What is the proper way to address this woman?), who to me is … well, irresponsible.
She is actually my wife’s aunt. A woman in her mid-late 40s. With two kids, around nine and four, (well three, but only two that “counts” for the purpose of the story).
Every year, on New Years and other special occasions (usually around holidays), she and her husband would go out to parties (some of which are out of town and overnight). She would ask my sister-in-law to take care of the kids. But she doesn’t trust my sister-in-law (who is 23) enough, so she also asks my wife.
I know, some of you are already saying, what is the big deal? People get baby sitters all the time.
Let me explain why it brothers me so…
I have had the dog for almost 7 years now. I found him when I was going to school, on my way to my finals. After my wife and I decided to keep him, I know that I have made a commitment, to take care of it. Which means sacrifices from my end.
For 7 years now, I have taken ONE vacation without the dog, which was my honeymoon to Japan. Every other vacation, I have look for close to home, dog friendly places. We look for a hotel with a kennel in Reno (So he can play in the snow in Donna Summit), we book dog friendly rooms in inns, and dog-friendly getaways places.
I am ok with that, it was my decision. I can live with it.
My wife’s aunt, having two kids also made the decision (if not the decision to have kids, she made the decision to have sex). And she should have to live with it. I already have it in my head that when I have kids, my going-out-or-go-on-vacation-alone-with-wife life is over for 18 or so years.
I am ok with that, it will be my decision. I can live with it.
I don’t know why, but it bugs the shit out of me…
Maybe it’s because she is such a bitch… (I have yet to have a “conversation” with her in the 9 years I have known her. She only recently RESPONDED to me saying hi to her)
Maybe it’s because she doesn’t even trust a 23 year old with her kids, she wants two adults there… (ok, so my sister-in-law can be a bit… untrustworthy… at times…)
Maybe it’s because she once replied “twelve to never” to my wife, when my wife inquired when she could baby-sit the kids.
Maybe it’s because her kids (at least the nine year old, but four year old is starting to show it too…) are total brats. They act bratty when they are in public, they act bratty when there is a family gather… they are just… brats!
Maybe it’s because she once claimed that her son (20 something, who doesn’t live at home anymore) wasn’t really hers, that the hospital had made a mistake…
Maybe it’s because she waits till the very last minute to ask (She emailed my wife Monday, waiting her to baby-sit on Friday). A bit more notice would be nice… I refuse to believe she didn’t know about wherever she is going earlier…
Maybe I am just weird and have inner issues… which makes me glad and happy that I don’t speak to anyone from my side of the family.
(To make it perfectly clear, my wife likes babysitting them. She likes spending time with her cousins. And the Uncle is a totally cool guy!)
Responsibility.
When you were younger… you want to be older to go out with your friends, without chaperons.
But you were responsible for your actions… if you missed a curfew…
Then you wish that you were 18… you can then legally buy cigarettes and legally have sex (I know, who follow these two “rules” anymore…)
But you are responsible for your actions…
21… alcohol… same responsibility thing…
I found that since I am a bit older, I am become more responsible.
I am become more financially responsible: I no longer spurge on things I don’t really need. After all, the mortgage comes first. (side story: I used to *frequently* take a $20 dollar cab ride, to my $4.25 an hour job at Micky D’s. After tax and the transportation deduction… I took home like two dollars and fifty cents for the day, eight hours of work...)
I am more relational responsible: I know I have a wife, along with a dog and two cats. There are chores I need to do (god knows I don’t as much as I should, but I do what is absolutely necessary, like cleaning the kitten litter, walking the dog and throwing away the moldy trash in the kitchen). It’s ok… that’s the price I pay for being a grown up.
Why am I rambling about this? Cause I have an aunt (in-law? What is the proper way to address this woman?), who to me is … well, irresponsible.
She is actually my wife’s aunt. A woman in her mid-late 40s. With two kids, around nine and four, (well three, but only two that “counts” for the purpose of the story).
Every year, on New Years and other special occasions (usually around holidays), she and her husband would go out to parties (some of which are out of town and overnight). She would ask my sister-in-law to take care of the kids. But she doesn’t trust my sister-in-law (who is 23) enough, so she also asks my wife.
I know, some of you are already saying, what is the big deal? People get baby sitters all the time.
Let me explain why it brothers me so…
I have had the dog for almost 7 years now. I found him when I was going to school, on my way to my finals. After my wife and I decided to keep him, I know that I have made a commitment, to take care of it. Which means sacrifices from my end.
For 7 years now, I have taken ONE vacation without the dog, which was my honeymoon to Japan. Every other vacation, I have look for close to home, dog friendly places. We look for a hotel with a kennel in Reno (So he can play in the snow in Donna Summit), we book dog friendly rooms in inns, and dog-friendly getaways places.
I am ok with that, it was my decision. I can live with it.
My wife’s aunt, having two kids also made the decision (if not the decision to have kids, she made the decision to have sex). And she should have to live with it. I already have it in my head that when I have kids, my going-out-or-go-on-vacation-alone-with-wife life is over for 18 or so years.
I am ok with that, it will be my decision. I can live with it.
I don’t know why, but it bugs the shit out of me…
Maybe it’s because she is such a bitch… (I have yet to have a “conversation” with her in the 9 years I have known her. She only recently RESPONDED to me saying hi to her)
Maybe it’s because she doesn’t even trust a 23 year old with her kids, she wants two adults there… (ok, so my sister-in-law can be a bit… untrustworthy… at times…)
Maybe it’s because she once replied “twelve to never” to my wife, when my wife inquired when she could baby-sit the kids.
Maybe it’s because her kids (at least the nine year old, but four year old is starting to show it too…) are total brats. They act bratty when they are in public, they act bratty when there is a family gather… they are just… brats!
Maybe it’s because she once claimed that her son (20 something, who doesn’t live at home anymore) wasn’t really hers, that the hospital had made a mistake…
Maybe it’s because she waits till the very last minute to ask (She emailed my wife Monday, waiting her to baby-sit on Friday). A bit more notice would be nice… I refuse to believe she didn’t know about wherever she is going earlier…
Maybe I am just weird and have inner issues… which makes me glad and happy that I don’t speak to anyone from my side of the family.
(To make it perfectly clear, my wife likes babysitting them. She likes spending time with her cousins. And the Uncle is a totally cool guy!)
posted by The World Against Me at 4:05 PM
1 Comments:
Being a grown-up kind of sucks in my opinion. All that responsibility can really weigh you down. The responsibility of having a dog, while an overall wonderful experience, has taught me that I should probably never be responsible for other human lives. I get fed up with “bad parenting” really easily, and you see it all the time everywhere. And then people say stuff like “well until you have kids you just don’t understand what it’s like.” Probably true, but at least I have the foresight to know that I just shouldn’t have kids if I’m not gonna like taking full responsibility for them. Your “aunt-in-law” does sound like quite the bitch. And maybe she has trust issues…
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